I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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