Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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