Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
