she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
