I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
please don't ironically join a cult
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