we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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