Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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