i don't like sucking hair
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
