garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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