i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize