a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize