My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
