i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize