You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
