This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think your dad took our porno
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
