she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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