It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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