Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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