hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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