Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
