sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
