it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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