He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
