Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
