just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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