my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize