I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
