Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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