She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
