you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
