Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize