This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
