the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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