I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
