somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
