i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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