dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
