Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i've created a new STD.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
