You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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