why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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