the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
