spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
