it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
