don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize