I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Someone signed my nipple.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
