Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
