Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
