Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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