I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
