this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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