For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize