Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
