He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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