Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
