nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
