plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Watching her eat just hurts me
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
