Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
