ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just had sex on a roof
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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