Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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