We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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