These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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