..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
